There’s many reasons why guilt might appear in grief, whether it be for having moments of happiness after they’re gone or for not feeling a certain type of way that you have been told is “normal”.

Whatever the reason, please remember we all grieve in different ways and you are doing the best you can. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
You got this.

The most heartbreaking feeling is the realisations that show up on the grief journey. Realising they won’t be there for the good moments and the bad ones.

Don’t be afraid to just cry, let it out. Write down your feelings. Scream into a pillow. Watch the funniest movie and cry some more.

You’re going to be okay.

Maybe they were suffering for a while and in pain or maybe you had a difficult relationship with them… Whatever the reason may be, it’s okay to feel the relief of a heavy weight on your shoulders.

Whether you’re close to a person or not, if they were a part of your life it’s natural to grieve.

Embrace this relief and be kind to yourself.

At the world, at your friends for not being there like you need them to, at these feelings you’re having… Anger is such a huge emotion that can feel extremely heavy to carry with you, we definitely need to let it out and find ways to make it that bit lighter.

It might sound crazy but try not to be angry at yourself for feeling angry, it’s so natural and when we just feel, it helps us not bottle up that emotion to snap later on. You’re doing the very best you can and that’s MORE than enough.

When someone dies, ironically it can remind us that life is for living. Life is short and that can feel both scary and exciting. You have so much to live for and something’s clicked and now you want to do ALL the things!!

Feeling hopeful in grief can come with shame and I’m here to tell you, you have nothing to feel ashamed of. Living your life to its fullest after losing someone is such a powerful reaction. Keep that hope with you. You’re incredible.

Feeling like you can’t feel. That’s a scary emotion and it’s easy to worry or feel like nothing matters. You take up a special space in this world and you MATTER. Whether it feels like that right now or not, you’re here for a reason. You have so much love to give and you will get there. Be kind to yourself because you’re simply doing the best you can and that is MORE than enough.

Feeling happy after someone’s gone is such a crazy feeling because it’s commonly followed closely by guilt and shame. Isn’t that such a shame when happiness is such a rarity in the rollercoaster of emotions that life has.

If you were lucky enough to be close to your lost loved one, they would probably be happy to see you happy. I love to remind myself of that when the guilt or shame starts to slip in alongside happiness.

This can especially appear if your lost loved one was poorly before their passing. I’m sure it can feel like you were holding on to any hope and that can be really stressful. Your love for them is so strong that you are now feeling calm knowing they’re at peace.

You may also feel this is you weren’t close to the person you’re grieving… relationships in life can be so complicated and we can carry a lot of weight around with us due to people in our life. Calm after the storm is a powerful feeling.

When someone dies suddenly it can feel like a rug has been pulled from under you. Shock can bring a lot of stress because your mind is trying to figure out what just happened. No warning and no time to prepare yourself; that comes with a lot of frustration and responsibility.

Try to be kind to yourself in this time, take deep breaths and tell yourself you’re going to be okay. Because truly, you will be okay. You are capable. You can handle this. You have 100% got this.

You’ve lost someone from your life and now you can’t see any good that you bring. It can feel like you’re not worthy but YOU ARE WORTHY. Putting on that brave face and being “strong” for your family or in front of your friends or work colleagues is SO hard.

Give yourself some credit. You are doing the very best you can and you have every reason to be here living your wonderful life. People light up when they see you whether you feel 100% or not. Keep going.

Loss of direction, loss of purpose, loss of identity. You don’t just lose the person, you lose a part of yourself too. The person you were with them. You will always have that, but it will be stored rather than used.

Finding out who this new person is in this very different world you now live in can feel SO scary and almost impossible, but if anyone can do it, it’s you.

Look at what you’ve already been through in your life and come out the other side. On those awful days it can be hard to find a why, the why is because you matter. You’re no less of a person after your loss, it’s a new path and you can walk it. You can even crawl if it helps you, but you will be able to face it, you’re doing amazing already.

Maybe you don’t feel that emotional? You’re fine and you’ve been convinced that that is somehow “wrong” in grief.

It doesn’t make you care any less. It doesn’t make you a bad person. You are on a very unique journey that for some reason has been given a “set” path… Don’t worry. You’re not doing grief wrong because there is literally NO RIGHT WAY. You do you and don’t feel bad about it.

I don’t think you know how great you are. The shame that comes with grief is horrendous. Whether it be caused by others words or ones you’ve made up yourself whilst trying to understand this crazy journey.

The one thing I know for sure is that you have nothing to feel ashamed of. You have every right to feel all of the emotions on this page AND MORE!! This is a unique journey, you’ve lost someone and that is massive. Keep feeling, keep going and keep being the great person you are.

Isn’t it amazing how through the worst of times we can lean into creative outlets!? Maybe you find it a good way to distract yourself or you’ve find a new sense of purpose or maybe you want to honour them in some creative way. This is so powerful and a really special way to honour yourself on this unique grief journey.

Don’t be afraid to share your creative outlet with others if it feels right to. Creativity is something to be proud of.

The fear that comes with loss can be unbearable. This fear can appear for many reasons, including feeling alone, worried about illnesses that may be genetic or now you have a new fear of dying. All completely valid and scary to feel.

Small steps are needed here, to start feeling more like you again… If it feels right, do some research on how to prevent illnesses, find ways to support your fear in a practical way. If it’s more of a worry formed in your mind, maybe find support in talking to someone through a helpline or finding a professional local to you.

If none of these options feel right for you but your fear is affecting your life, please do reach out to others and see your doctor. You can do this.

Being proud for knowing your lost loved one or of yourself for how you’re coping is incredible. Hold on to that pride, don’t let anyone take that from you. This is such a special feeling through grief and you have every right to be proud. Love that for you.

Grief is incredibly lonely and even when you’re surrounded by people it can feel so isolating. People won’t ever understand exactly how you’re feeling because even if they’ve lost people themselves, everyone has their own unique grief journey. It’s hard to realise this when you feel so alone and just need someone to get it.

One of the best ways I’ve found to get through those lonely days is to immerse myself in a good book and pretend to be elsewhere for a small time. If you’re not a reader, music can be a great comfort blanket or those feel good TV shows or movies that are so un-relatable they feel like the greatest escapism.

If you feel like you can’t get through this alone, please ask for help. There are many helplines that will be happy to chat to you if you don’t feel you can reach out to friends or family. You got this.

Such a painful emotion and a huge weight to carry. Be kind to yourself and give yourself forgiveness. If it was words you said or those dreaded “what if’s” swirling through your mind, please know you’re not to blame. Life is complicated.

Don’t forget to live in the now and make the moments count, that is the best way to forgive yourself and show yourself the kindness and grace you deserve.

There’s a lot to process mentally that can feel extremely overwhelming and even more so if you’re dealing with things physically as well. Losing someone comes with a lot of stuff, thinking about all the memories, the person themselves but also going through their belongings if that becomes your responsibility.

It’s so natural to feel smothered by all of it. The best way to get through these feelings is to take deep breaths, let’s do it right now.

Okay, breathe in (through your nose) for 8 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and breathe out for 8 seconds. Did you feel your shoulders drop? Now notice your jaw, is it clenched? Release it. Are you frowning? Relax your face. Drop your arms. Feel your body relax and do this any time you need to.

Whether it feels good or bad, suddenly you feel more aware of the preciosity of life. This in itself can feel like a lot. It’s both exciting and nerve-wracking. You want to live life to the full but you’re also exhausted and have just had to mentally grow up so fast.

The thing about grief is it makes you notice all the things that you used to blissfully pass by. Though it may not feel like it all the time, this is a blessing. Seeing all the things, it’s scary but it’s a new fun way to live.

Embrace the scary feeling of being more aware. Taking the quote feel the fear and do it anyway. Life is what we make it right, and now you can see so much more of it! You got this.

This is the one emotion that gives us all the weird symptoms. Our bodies don’t like it, they start to try and protect you by making you feel poorly. You must be exhausted carrying around all that stress.

Let’s take a minute.

Have you told anyone you’re feeling this way? Is there anyone that can help you? Don’t be ashamed to ask for help, now more than ever. Don’t feel like you can share? Try writing a journal of all your thoughts even if it’s by texting yourself or sending yourself voice notes. It might sound silly but getting it out of your head can really help.

You can do this.

Feeling all the emotions. One minute you’re sad, then you have a moment of joy and then feel guilty for feeling any kind of happiness and then you feel ashamed for feeling anything. Sounds so exhausting when it’s put like that.

You have every right to feel all the emotions. Guilt and shame creep in with grief, probably because of the expectation that comes with it. You’re not supposed to feel any particular kind of way, you just feel.

Feel all the emotions, look back on all the memories and don’t forget to be in the here and now because you’re an amazing human worthy of life.

Grief can also come with a level of trauma depending on the circumstances of how they passed. This can be triggered in many ways including with certain sounds, words and every day activities. When you get triggered it’s easy to spiral into panic and overwhelm.

In these times of complete panic, remind yourself you’re okay. You’ve been through the worst of it. You can handle more than you realise and breathe.

Let’s try it now, breathe in (through your nose) for 8 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and breathe out for 8 seconds. Did you feel your shoulders drop? Now notice your jaw, is it clenched? Release it. Are you frowning? Relax your face. Drop your arms. Feel your body relax and do this any time you need to.

If your trauma is affecting your everyday please reach out for help, there’s never any shame in asking for help and support.

Feeling like there’s no goodness left in the world or there’s no point to anything? I get it. It can definitely feel like that but you need to remember you’re very much worthy of this world and you matter.

The world needs you. You are the light, the goodness and the real reason to living. When you feel like nothing matters, remind yourself you matter. Be kind to you. You got this.

Seeing others carry on. Doing the things you thought you would be doing right now. That pang of jealousy is so natural, it can feel painful to see others living the life you always dreamed you’d have.

The path is always changing but it’s okay to feel sad about the experiences you’ll miss out on. It’s okay to feel resentment and jealousy.

You have an exciting life ahead of you still and you’ll have experiences you never even thought of. It’s hard to remember this in strong feelings but it’s true. You have a life worth living and you are worthy of that life. You got this.

People keep telling you it’s going to get easier and that you have so much to live for and whatever else and you don’t believe any of it. You’re filled with doubt because your person was taken way too soon so the world now feels like it’s against you.

I’m not going to tell you it’ll get easier but I am going to tell you, you can do it. You can get through this. Even with the feelings of doubt, you can take the small steps towards your new normal and experience other emotions.

These emotions may surprise you when they pop up, because right now you doubt it all. But it’s possible, keep going.
You can do this.

Excitement can appear for many reasons but what an amazing feeling. Don’t let go of that when it turns up. Now’s your time. Find your purpose, find your path and find your new future.

It’s still hard, I think that’s a common misconception when these positive emotions pop up through grief, we’re convinced it means you’re cold and heartless or something… NO WAY. It’s almost proof of your heart. You care so much and your feelings are completely valid.

Keep going and hold on to that excitement!